I look at it, stared at it and think of it.
(i was sitting at the soft-fa, he came to me and asked me if i have taken the pencil. My respond was a no and he went to the drawer below the altar and took out a box of pencil and gave it to me and said ".... ")
Somehow i miss his voice,
his presence,
his smile,
his gold teeth,
his always tan-look.
I still remember when i was very young, kindergarten? I asked my mum, "why does he has gold teeth?" (that time i still cant recognize that he was my grandfather). I think they gave me a very weird answer; alien answer.
(At that time i really thought that he is an alien cause he is so tan and with gold teeth, i've never seen one)
Then the way he eat his lunch or dinner amused me further. He squat on a chair and eat his food. That is something out of my mind? This is because my mum always tell me to sit properly and eat.
today is his death anniversary, according to lunar calendar.
it's 3years.
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(This is what i wrote on this day. Pardon me for my poor language and grammer)
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Title: Darker World.A few hours ago my grandfather has handed his NRIC.For the 2nd time of the year,i will be attending funeral.
The moment i am writing this now,i am quite calm.But i am certain,when i step into the void deck.I will not be able to hold back my tears.You know,i think i am living in fantasy.Things just happened too swiftly.First was the death of my greatgrandma and then followed by my unexpectable results.And now was this.Probably most people would say look ahead and the bright side of life.But one who is in my shoe will surely understand how i felt that no words can comfort.
Years ago,when i was still a naughty child.There was this incident.I rem i was way too naughty that the adults cant stand me anymore.And my grandfather wan to beat me up.And he is furious.But as a child that time,i was really really naughty.Naughty to the extend that my mum almost give up hope on me.
I rem 2,3 years ago,during chinese new year.He will often join us to play blackjack.And he will with us,kids,who play 10 cents and 20 cents.And he is willing to lose.That was when he is healthy.But thing change swiftly.Weeks after chinese new year,stroke strikes him.And there onward,his health decline day by day.
But i think my ah gong can be proud.He has 6 children.And 5 got married and there it come 13 grandson.It's indeed a big family.And in the early days,he is the few who bought television set and drive a car(that was before i was born).And to buy television and owned a car during that time is considered success.I still rem sitting in his mini car.Air-con break down oftenly and we have to depend on open air.And when air-con is still new to Singaporean,he bought a small one.And everyone will attempt to sleep in that room.And he particulary like gold teeth.I rem asking my mum why is his teeth in gold rather then White.And he love wearing a dragon buttom shirt.He is also a good husband.He treated my grandma well.And whenever he strike lottery,children is alway happy.Because we got a slice of the windfall.
And yesterday was became my last time sawing him.And the last words we had was the simply farewell : bye bye ah gong and the last time sawing he wave to us to say :bye bye
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